Hi,

I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years about 2 years ago. I was devastated after this and it took me a long time to be able to even think of him without crying or getting depressed, actually its only been in the last couple of months that I have started to be able to deal with it properly. Since then I have done many things that I would normally not have done and which I am not very proud of. I have met and dated a few guys but nothing ever lasts, to be honest it's just been one disaster after another, a string of one night stands that make my flesh crawl when I think of them. I still think about my ex alot and do really miss him. He had moved to England with work before we split and started dating an English girl, I think they are still together but he has recently been moved home again to work. I very rarely see him and if I do I usually get out of his site so that I dont have to talk to him. You replied to a letter some time back saying that he still loved me and that he was my solemate and to give him time and space. I certainly have give him space as I havent spoken to him in almost 2 years, I just cant bring myself to face him incase I breakdown infront of him.

At this stage of my life and the fact that I live in such a small town I'm beginging to wonder if I will ever meet anyone again as I know I'll never get my ex back now. I do try, I go out every weekend and go away quiet a bit but never seem to meet anyone who doesnt already have a girlfriend. All my friends are married or in a couple and I feel so left out and worn out trying all the time.

Will things change soon? Is there anyone on the horizon for me?

Hi Sweetheart,

I remember you and your ex, and I remember how strongly the soulmate relationship came through. Soulmate relationships are very special and it makes them very hard to let go of, however the thing about soulmate relationships is that they happen for a purpose, you are both drawn together to learn a lesson, and when that lesson is over, you have a choice. You can either move on and do something new and different or you can find something new to work on and learn together with and continue the relationship. I feel that this time, your soulmate, your ex, has moved on and has chosen to let your relationship go as he has other things to learn and feels that others will be able to teach him this better.

I do still feel that he continues to love you and that he always will in some capacity whether he admits it to himself or not. However, he has moved on and now it’s time for you to do the same. I know, easier said than done right! It is hard to be around couples when you are single and looking, and I understand how hard it is to find guys who are single that you are interested in! But look on the positive side of that, you are attracted to guys who are steady, reliable and able to have fulfilling relationships, so you are looking in the right place, just the wrong actual people (ie they are not available).

So here is what I want you to do. Take a deep breath. Just sit there for a moment and breathe deeply. Now forgive yourself for doing the things that you did that you are not proud of right now. It’s ok, it’s done, it’s in the past, it wasn’t perfect, but it’s done now so don’t waste time and energy feeling guilty about it. If you need to do something to make amends, do so. Then let it go and move on.

The next thing you’d benefit from doing is to stop trying to find someone. By this I mean, stop worrying about when, if, how & will you find someone when you go out. But just let the whole worry about meeting someone go. I know it’s easier said than done, but you aren’t enjoying it anymore. Meeting someone is supposed to be fun, not a burden. So turn things around so it’s no longer a burden. Most importantly you need to stop worrying about how everyone else is in a relationship and you are not. It can be lonely but you don’t want to be in a relationship because everyone else is and if you are focused on that that is what you will create.

Don’t stop going out where you will meet people though, but you might find changing where you go to would be helpful. Go to different places where you will meet like-minded people. Try a singles group, try something new, listen to your intuition and let it guide you to where you need to be. It might be something like joining a yoga class or the gym, going for walks, visiting a place you’ve never been to before. Trust your gut feelings and ask your angels for signs giving you guidance. They’ll give them to you. If you don’t notice any within a couple of days, ask them to make it clearer for you. A key to recognising signs from them is when you see or hear something 3 or more times within a short period of time that’s a sign. It could be as simple as hearing the lyrics in your head to a song, then hearing it on the radio soon after then someone mentioning something along the lines of the lyrics. Or you may literally see a sign!

Have you sat down and written a list of attributes and qualities you want from your next partner and relationship? If not, get out a pen and paper and do so. Then sit down and write down what you are willing to bring to and offer a relationship. Then give this list to your angels, guides or whoever you talk to or pray to and work with. Let it go and let it happen, it’s as simple and as hard as that.

Checking the cards I can see that right now is a time for you to enjoy with your friends and to just have fun. They are also showing your need to get over past hurts and that this is most important to do before you enter your next relationship. But the 8 of wands has shown up here depicting a new relationship coming into your life, and when it does, it will come in very quickly and things will move quickly between you.

They have shown up as the King of Wands, so he is someone who’s very strong willed and confident, idealistic, generous, a risk taker, intellectual and inventive/creative. Some of his less positive traits include being a bit selfish and bossy at times. But overall he’s a great guy who’s very positive and caring.

So yes, things will change, you will move on, but you have a bit of work to do within before you are ready to do this. Try doing a releasement ceremony to help you let go of your ex. To do this, start by picturing him in front of you and telling him everything you want to say to him. If you’re not comfortable with that, write a letter to him instead. Then get a picture of him or a picture of you and him together and burn it over a candle saying ‘ I let you go with love.’ Burn the letter also. Do this (taking the proper precautions of course! Be safe when you do this!) with anything else that you feel is symbolic of the relationship and your past ties. Hold the absolute intention of releasing him from your life and letting go of that relationship. You may find that burying things in the ground or putting them in water might feel better for you. Trust your intuition to guide you.

Once you have done this go and celebrate your life as being single!! You will meet someone soon, and this will help the process as I don’t feel you will meet someone until you have let go of the past. Another thing that will help you to let go is to stop referring to your ex as ‘my ex’. Refer to him as ‘the ex’ as it stops the attachment to yourself. Do a house clean, get rid of any momentos that remind you of your relationship. Get rid of as much as you can. You will find you’ll feel less burdened and it will help you to move on.

I wish you all the best! Please write back and let me know how you are going. Keep the faith, someone is coming, you can and will get over the ex from your past.

Love
Cassandra